I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize