Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
