NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
