the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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