my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
