She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
