nut hugger
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
