Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
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Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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