I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm really busy with my period
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