I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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