I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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