it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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