and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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