Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
