Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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