Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
