He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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