I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
