I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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