My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
