I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
