you win again, gameday.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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