Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
