I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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