once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
