New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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