So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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