Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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