Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
