dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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