wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
