Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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