My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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