which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
