i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Who died my cat blue again?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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