He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
