Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
