discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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