when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
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