He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
