dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
