Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
