you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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