he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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