last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
