How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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