She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
