Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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