He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
