you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't put those talents on a resume
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize