Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Mom said you looked used
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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