I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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