covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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