I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
