I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
