his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
