You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
