I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
