my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
