He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
