I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
