yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
