pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
