Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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