There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
